My last show in high school...

This week I closed on the last show I will perform in at Lone Peak High School. This show was the most trying, most exciting, most fun, hardest, and above all the show I am most proud of out of every show I have ever been a part of. I worked my ass off every day in rehearsal and I left everything I had on the stage every time I went on it. I did all I could to keep the show going, keep attitudes positive, and encourage everyone to do their best. It was very difficult. It took a lot of effort at times, but every second was worth it. And I think that is why it hurts so much when people dismiss this show.

As the show was put together it seemed that the only things I heard (and the only things I continue to hear) is how poor the show was compared to others from Lone Peak, how much people hated being in this show, how little income came in, and how small the audiences were. Hearing these things, some of them from my best friend, hurt me more than anything. When someone works so hard and people just brush it off as nothing, it makes all that hard work seem like it truly was nothing. And yet, I know that this show wasn't nothing. The work I put in wasn't nothing. And the joy I felt while I was on stage and the fun I had with my cast mates sure as hell wasn't nothing. 

To the cast of "Once Upon A Mattress" 2012: I love all of you so much. Everyone of you has taught me something and you have all left an impression that I will never forget. Thank you to everyone who supported me and made me feel that my work was worth it. I love you forever and ever. 

To any of you involved in theater: no matter what happens to you, whether you get rejected for a role, or you don't like the director, or you think your costume is ugly, let me give you some advice--keep your mouth shut or quit. Because that attitude will tear your cast and, ultimately, your show, apart. You are an actor. If you can't have a genuinely good attitude then take it as an acting challenge and pretend that you have a good attitude.

To everyone, in theater or not: support those around you. You don't know what they are going through or how hard they have worked for something. Give them your support and be kind. You have no idea how far that will take you. Kindness is one of the strongest things I have ever witnessed and it seems that people use it less and less these days. Live in kindness and I promise your life will be more happy and enjoyable than if you don't.

Be strong...

I try really hard in my life to be strong. To not show weakness. To make sure that everyone thinks I am fantastic all the time. It is hard at times, but more than anything it is so lonely.

There are those times when I breakdown and all I want is someone to hold me and let me cry and tell me that it will be ok, but if I do that then I have to let someone in and reveal that I am not fantastic. I am really just a person. A person who feels sadness, and insecurities, and anger, and loneliness the same as everyone else. But I can't do that. I can't let someone see me that way. So I sit and breakdown as quietly as I can by myself and I wait until the sadness or anger or loneliness passes and I move on.

Sometimes I am stronger at the end, but sometimes I feel just as hopeless. And that hurts.

2012 Presidential Candidate...

by YourLocalSecurity.com

This is my first time voting in a Presidential Election and I am emphatically supporting the re-election of President Obama. True, Obama is not by far the greatest president that the United States have had, but what he has done is working in the right direction to help restore the economy, end the war, and strengthen the country. Besides these things, every potential Republican candidate stands for things that I cannot support. More than anything I cannot support these men because of their anti-same sex marriage platform. I advocate human rights and same sex marriage more than any other social or political issue. Based on these things I pledge my full support to the re-election of President Obama.

Glow...

Sometimes we all need some inspiration, especially me. I have found a great source of inspiration for girls and women. glow*. It is a blog started by some of my women role models and there are some truly amazing thoughts in it. If you want or need some inspiration or support please go check out this blog. It is truly amazing.

It gets better...

My life has never been "easy." I have struggled and I have fought. I have had more heartache than most people my age and I have experienced things no one should ever have to experience. It has been hard. But it is ok. It's ok because I am one of the strongest people I know. These trials have molded me and helped create a person that I love. I love who I am. I love what I stand for and I love where I am going with my life. There is nothing anyone could do at this point in my life that would pull me down. I won't let them. This is my life and it is in my control. I have some pretty big things coming up in my life pretty soon and some of them make me excited, and some of them terrify the shit out of me. But it doesn't matter because I am strong enough for all of it. And I know that when bad things happen it won't last forever and it will get better.

For those of you that have hit rock bottom, for those of you that feel worthless, for those of you who feel helpless: it gets better. No matter what is happening, it will get better. You do not have to let people beat you down. You don't have to let people treat you badly. You have the power. I know, it doesn't feel like it, trust me I understand, but you do have that power. All it takes is one moment of belief in yourself, one moment to stand tall and embrace the amazing person you are. And that one moment will turn into strength, and that strength will let you believe in yourself even more. It is a cycle and it leads to a strong, self assured person who has an amazing potential. Don't let that potential be wasted. 

It gets better.