Let's talk about sex...

Ok now that I have your attention...I don't mean we are actually going to talk about sex. Instead I am going to lecture you a little bit. About public displays of affection (PDA) and appropriate places to "get busy" as Syndrome says on "The Incredibles." 

One: I love showing affection. Hugs are probably the most healing things in the world. I love to give hugs and I love to receive hugs. Hugs are an appropriate form of PDA. But not all hugs are appropriate for PDA. Let me clarify...

Appropriate (and ADORABLE)

Appropriate

Inappropriate...like a lot...

Inappropriate and awkward in a room full of what looks to be cops

Inappropriate

Appropriate

Inappropriate...Really? You need to touch her butt that badly?

Appropriate and a great way to lift someone's spirits

Inappropriate

Appropriate

Hopefully now you will know what is appropriate and what is not as far as hugs are concerned.

Two: Holding hands is fun and sweet and it is appropriate in most circumstances. If you are holding hands and butts at the same time that is not appropriate (If you can't tell anytime butts are touching hands it is inappropriate...actually just no butt touching in any public situation)

Three: Kissing, no. Let's just avoid kissing in public if we can. A small quick peck may be permissible, but under no circumstances should there be any tongue, slimy, frenchy kisses in public. It is nasty. So stop.

Four: Finally, what you have all been waiting for. Sex. As a general rule you should never have sex in these places:

• A restaurant
• A public restroom
• A park
• A parking lot
• A store
• A mall
• A laundromat
• An airport
• An airplane
• A doctor's office
• A dentist's office
• A moving car
• A school
• A classroom
• A grocery store
• A grocery cart
• A movie theater
• A theater of drama
• A drive in movie
• And many others...                                                                                                                      

There are many others, but hopefully this will help you understand. Now here are some places that are appropriate for swoodellypooping with your honey.

• Your bed
• Your honey's bed
• A hotel

Now there are still some qualifications with these things. YOU CANNOT SHARE A ROOM WITH ANYONE. Whether they are home or not. If you share a bedroom (or a bed) there should be no horizontal tangoing going on. The end. 

I hope that this has been educational and helpful. I send you off with kittens and hugs.

To sir (and ma'am) with love...

I haven't posted anything in a while. Part of that is because I have been busy getting ready for the end of the school year and part of that is because I really feel like I have little to say that anyone would find truly meaningful or insightful. I have spent the last 12 years in school and learning so many things I can't even remember all of them right now. And now that I am graduating I need to thank some people for what they have done for me. So instead of spreading seeds of my "vast" knowledge I am going to give some well do recognition and appreciation to those who have helped me obtain the knowledge I do have.

First is Mrs. Alyssa McNaughton and Mr. Derek Brooks: These two teachers were my English teachers in eighth and ninth grade. They did not teach me anything too new or exciting, in fact they told me on multiple occasions that they learned more from me than they felt they had taught me, but they believed in me. They encouraged me in my writing and they encouraged me in my acting. They gave me confidence when I was at my lowest and they made me feel truly worthwhile. I will always be grateful to them for that.

Next is Mr. Scott Birrell: This man is one of the most amazing teachers in the entire world in my opinion. I cannot even describe specific things that make him such an amazing teacher, but he makes you love learning. Not just learning history, which is what he teaches, but learning anything. Learning about life. He teaches you responsibility and integrity and that (my words, not his) shit happens and you have to pick yourself up and move on. He is a brilliant man and an even better teacher. 

Finally is Ms. Sarah Woolsey: Ms. Woolsey holds a very special place in my heart. She taught me to be a better writer and reader. She taught me important life lessons. She wrote me glowing letters of recommendation and she encouraged me in my schooling. More than all of this though she helped shape me into the person I am. She cared about me, but she still pushed me to be better. She took care of me in little ways that were more helpful than she will ever realize. She made me feel special and important and I will love her forever because of that. I cannot express how much this woman means to me and how much I hope I can be like her when I am grown.

Thank you to all the teachers who shaped me and made me a better person. I love you all.